Chicago Children's Theatre

Bullying Story from Childhood- A Cultural Perspective

As a young girl growing up in the mid and late 60's on the south side of Chicago in a neighborhood transitioning from working class to low income, I was bullied because of my interest in academics. There wasn't a lot of support for little black girls who liked to read and study and do well in school in my south side neighborhood.

I was called Professor Shakespeare, school girl and 'acting white'. My parents didn't allow the use of slang language in casual conversation at home or in school, so I was teased often, but occasionally verbally assaulted for 'talking white'.

I don't remember ever talking with my parents about the specific situation, but I received clear messages from home that I needed to stand up for myself. I was petrified. I ended up having a physical fight with the designated leader of the 5th grade group of girls that were in my combined 4/5 grade class, a fight that was instigated by the 5th grade group of girls. I was a 4th grader. Thank goodness this occurred in the age of fists rather than guns or knives. I ended up settling the fight on the school playground, in spite of a 3 inch height and probably 20 lbs. weight difference in favor of the 5th grade bully, the largest girl in her group. I won the fight by knocking the bully into a pile of melting snow. Sheer terror and adrenaline does strange things to you. The girl cried and detente was established. I don't know if my parents ever knew of this incident; I was never reprimanded by teachers. Even though I was never a friend of that group of girls, no one from that group picked on me again. I also learned that I needed to 'code-switch' in order to maintain relationships with my school peers and harmony at home with my parents. I found a way to fit in with other groups of girls through my somewhat feeble attempts at double dutch. My peer group realized that I was normal and had some things that I did well and others that I did not, just like them.

Receiving strong supportive messages from my parents was absolutely essential in terms of mounting the moxie to take on the bully. But I also learned that I had to find a way to be a part of the group in a way that was consistent with parental and peer expectations. It's a skill that has led me to be a collaborator and bridge between sometimes disparate groups in the workplace, social settings and working with community organizations, especially around issues regarding race and ethnicity. Also, I have achieved my goal of becoming a physician.

I often wonder if other black girls and boys who are faced with the same challenges, but without adult support and appropriate navigating skills are making the choice of running with the 'popular' crowd and abandoning their academic dreams for fear of losing that protection from their peer groups. As an adolescent and young adult, I learned that many of my bullying peers ended up getting pregnant before the age of 18, not going to college and for some, getting a record in the criminal justice system.

Social capital through networks of caring and involved adults helps kids to navigate these minefields, along with the formation of positive peer networks that can help to create 'positive deviance' models in the face of tremendous social and economic challenges that many girls and boys of all races face.

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